Hello Old Friend

How have you been? It's been a while. I'm very happily adjusting to married life.  Strangely, according to those I've talked with recently, M and I still aren't cohabitating.  Anyway, on to way more important and interesting things.  I've decided to make a few goals for 2013.

I want to make one new "challenge" meal a month. I'm in the process of compiling my  list of dishes.  I'm hoping this gets me out of my cooking/eating rut and also helps me learn a bit more skill in the kitchen.  I created a board on Pinterest and hope to have 12 recipes collected by December 31, 2012.

In searching through the interwebs and more specifically Pinterest, to find these challenge recipes I stumbled across a really cool website - They Draw & Cook.  It has beautifully illustrated recipes.  I'm dying to try the Pumpkin Mousse.   I would also sort of love to have some of these as prints in my kitchen...someday when I have a kitchen.

Another good thing about this self-imposed challenge is that I'm trying out some recipes that I pinned - the simpler ones that are not challenge worthy.  Tonight's dinner was porkchops marinated in soy sauce, garlic and honey.  

Source: healthy-snack-recipe.blogspot.com via Alicia on Pinterest

The Pinterest link highlighted one of my many frustrations with Pinterest - it linked to little more than a picture.  To be fair, this one at least went to a website, but beyond saying what ingredients were used it wasn't very helpful - there were no measurements listed.  I took a guess on how much of the garlic (two heapng teasspoonfuls of the minced garlic), honey (about a teaspoon), and soy sauce (probably about 1/3-1/2 cup of the low sodium).  Marinade all day and yum!

Mine looked nothing like the pin, but it tasted wonderful.  I had cheesy broccoli as a side and froze the leftover chop.  Simple, yummy, filling and leftovers for a dinner yet this week.  See, there is a bonus to not living with your spouse - I get the leftovers.  :)

Distance

What feels like a long long time ago, I made the decision to move 2,000 miles from home.  This was not the first time I'd decided to move far away from everyone I knew and loved, nor was it the farthest.  However, it has become one of the more permanent, which wasn't exactly the plan when I packed up my life and moved to the land of beer and cheese.  Most days the distance doesn't bother me much.  It's not like I'd be having dinner every night at home with mom and dad.  Besides which, my parents moved out of the house I grew up in about two years after I left. 

Holidays when you get home are extra awesome.  Everyone is excited to see you.  Since you haven't been physically present it's unlikely that you've managed to make anyone upset enough to be put out with you during your visit.  After all, it will probably be months until they see you again.  You are in a pretty good mood as well.  You haven't seen these people, otherwise known as your family, in a long time and let's be honest, having people excited to see you makes everyone feel a bit more fantastic.  For me, I find that my mom and I get along amazingly from a distance but more than a week in the same house and we are at each others throats.

Holidays when you can't go home aren't quite as much fun.  There are a couple possibilities here.  The less craptastic is finds you with friends, a significant other, or someone else's family. Not horrible, but it's not the same as being home.  The other two possibilities are substantially less fun - and sort of a toss up of suckage: either you are stuck at work or you are by yourself.  In my experience, being alone on a holiday tends to be a choice - sometimes I just can handle being with another group, especially when I was really hoping to make it home.  Working on a holiday sucks whether you are close to home or not.

You get used to missing things when you live "too far" away.  Going home is expensive or time consuming, so you tend to skip graduations, baptisms, those random weekends when the family just all seems to get together.  BUT you call for all those occasions.  You send cards, flowers, gifts, whatever is appropriate.  People come to expect you not to be able to make it.   You start only getting invitations to the big things.  The family camping trip or trip to Aunt Sue's isn't mentioned until after the fact.  I admit, hearing those stories sort of hurts.  It's always weird to think of people having a life without you present.  I don't resent it, just sad I'm missing out on the memories, the time together, the closeness.  

When it really sucks is when something major happens.  You sister has a kid and you just can't get the time off or maybe the plane tickets are way out of your budget.  A family member gets married and it's high volume season at work, so taking off the three days a trip home requires just isn't an option.  A family member is sick, and you don't make it in time to be there for them or the rest of the family.  Lately I've been in the really sucks bracket.  It's never been so hard to not be home.  As usual, I find myself being unbelievably jealous that they all get to be together and draw comfort from one another while I'm solo in the apartment trying to keep myself together.  Again, I don't resent them for this, but I just really wish I could be there too. Not just for me, but for them as well.  In time of crisis, families come together, and I can't do that, which hurts so much.

I feel silly for saying it, but I'm a very homesick 30-year-old.

My life really isn't all about my wedding...

I was playing around on Ravelry and someone posted a "funny" article about bridesmaids complaining about a bride.  I thought it was more bitchy than funny, and if someone really feels this angry about things they should probably not be in the couple's wedding.  There was much debate on the forum about #1 - not talking about anything but the wedding.  This particularly annoyed me because the first thing people ask me about when I haven't seen them for a few weeks (days?) is "how is the wedding planning going?" So don't get pissy if that's what I talk about - you probably asked.  I'm not really obsessed with my wedding, but lets be honest with ourselves my life is not a thrill ride (thank goodness) and right now my wedding is the most exciting thing going on for me.  Here's the other thing, I actually do have other big things going on but they aren't necessarily happy things, and unless I know you well, I won't be bringing those up.

So, now on to other things I can talk about -

I actually picked up my living room today.  This is a big undertaking because I hate cleaning and I have stacks of paper everywhere.  Paper is my nemesis in the cleaning scheme of things.  I'm trying to be better, but it's not successful.  Seriously, it's to the point where aunts are suggesting that I keep my room clean for Lent.  Yep, I'm still a 10 year old who needs to be nagged to clean my room.  I keep using the excuse that I need a system, or that once I get it clean I'll be good and keep it clean.  The reality is that I am really bad at putting away clothes.  They get thrown on the futon in my bedroom and left there.  Mail gets looked at and dropped on counter instead of being put in the recycle.  I pin ideas on pinterest to get me motivated - so far it's not working.  This concerns me greatly.

I've never been a neat nick, and Michael is similarly not super organized. We go through bursts, but it's not consistent.  But I would like to possibly, maybe, god willing, have kids someday.  And it just seems that a cleaner house is a necessity - I don't want to be THAT family where school work gets lost, things are cluttered  etc.    People tell me that having kids forces you to find the time/energy but what if it doesn't?  My mom always had our house really neat - I'm not sure if I can achieve that, and that makes me really sad.  As much as she drove (drives?) me nuts, my mom did a pretty spectacular job of being a great mom, managing the house cleaning, ensuring we had a homemade meal, and working.  How did she not collapse from exhaustion?

My sister does the same thing.  She is an awesome job and manages to cook, clean, and even festively decorate for holidays - and while my brother-in-law is awesome, those are not tasks that are his strong suit.

I have nightmares that my family comes to visit and my house is like one of those out of horders....seriously, I'm not quite balanced anymore.

The Blahs

I have been in a slump.  No time to knit, workout, or cook real meals.  I needed a change.  But let's be honest, change is really hard when your in a slump.  So three weeks ago I decided to make a plan to change in baby steps.  My goal is to get healthy and back into pre-law school shape.  So here's the plan:

Step 1 - Drink at least 12 cups of water a day 

Step 2 - Complete one round of Power 90 (90 days total - start in week 2)

Step 3 - Each small meals every 2-3 hours (at least 10g protein, no more than 40g carbs)

Step 4 - Don't eat within 2 hours of going to bed

Step 5 - No more processed grains

Step 6 - At least one fruit or veggie with each meal

Step 7 - Get a minimum of 7 hours sleep.

I'm hoping that with mini goals I can get the feeling of success to keep me motivated and start making them habits.  Each step is given one week to be completed.  I'm already on week three and I think I'm doing pretty good.

Wish me luck!

S'mores - big kid style!

I have joined an adult organization - with meetings, events, and fundraisers.  Apparently a lot of fundraisers for adult organizations consist of feeds.  I've been invited to spaghetti feeds, beef feeds, fish feeds, pork feeds...and my particular organization is hosting it's annual Chili Feed!  Fortunately for me, I have no idea how to make chili. I do however make a mean dessert and with M working for a chocolate company I know make a seriously mean chocolate dessert.

On the menu today - Chocolate Peanut Butter S'more Bars.  They are easy, pretty dang quick and ooooh so delicious.

Preheat Oven to 350.  Make a Graham Cracker Crust -I use this recipe doubled, substituting chocolate graham crackers for the standard issue.  I put in in a 9x13 pan and cover the bottom and up the sides.  This is important as marshmallows and the chocolate stick to the pan, breaking your bars, otherwise.

Once the crust has cooled (yeah for a fridge that's mostly empty) I put in my Peanut Butter Chocolate wafers down in a single layer, covering most of the bottom of the crust.  This goes in the oven for about 5 minutes, or until soft and spreadable.  Smooth out the Chocolate to cover the entire bottom. and slightly up the edge.  Then I dump in mini marshmallows.  Remember these will expand as they heat, so you don't need to fill it up to the top of the pan.  About half-way is good, or at least enough to cover the chocolate.

Bake at 350 for approximately 10 minutes until the top layer of marshmallows are golden brown.

You should have a beautiful pan of golden lumps like the one above.  You'll also have a wonderful smell in your kitchen.  Resist the temptation and let them cool completely before cutting.  Sadly some of the fluff in the marshmallows will have deflated, but they are still oh so good.

Enjoy!

Growing Up and Getting Ahead

Today I took another step toward adulthood.  I'm 27 years old, but I still think I'm a long way from being grown up.  Lately I've come to realize that this is the normal course of events in people's lives.  We progress down this road slowly, step-by-step, and not all at once when we hit any certain age or milestone.

My step today - I purchased my first piece of essential furniture: a couch.  I have other pieces, a bed is the only one that comes to mind at the moment, but those were bought for me either as gifts or as we-are-your-parents-and-aren't-going-to-let-you-sleep-on-the-floor type things.  I have lovely parents as you might guess.

I've also decided to take another step: plan for retirement.  The sooner I get started the higher the likelihood that I will actually be able to retire one day.  In part, I want to take control of my money and also be more aware of my money and how I can actually make it work for me.  So until I get a bit better informed I've got a short list of goals , financially speaking.

1. Pay off my credit card.  In my long search for a job I definitely spent more than I made and am paying the price for that now.  I knew that the best policy was either not have a credit card or pay it off in full each month.  Because I didn't follow my own good advice in this sector, I'll be spending the next few months paying this off.

2.  Put at least $50 a paycheck into savings.  As of right now I know almost nothing about IRAs, 401ks, annuities, and all the other options people have for saving.  Therefore, I'll put my money in my savings account which only gets 0.025% interest.  That's crap, and I know it.  Which leads me to the next goal...

3. Teach myself the basics in finances.  I want to know what an IRA is compared to a 401k.  What the difference between an annuity and CD is...and why I should put money in one or another.  So I'm going to start reading.  I like Suze Orman, her personality appeals to me and from what I've seen her advice is pretty darn practical.  I already try to read a couple of financial blogs (Get Rich Slowly being one of my favorites). So a sub-goal, to accomplish such a big goal is going to be read at least one financial/money management item a day.  It's not a lot, but hey you have to start somewhere.

Here's to walking the path to adulthood.  Cheers!

These are the Days of Our Lives...

Today has been one of those days...the type of days that make me wonder what I have accomplished in my life, and think not much actually.

This year I turn 28 years old. Fortunately, there is nothing overly significant about turning 28. I can already vote and drink; I've made it past the quarter century mark (25 was a surprisingly rough birthday for me); I'm not quite to the next decade; and being 40 is still a bit in the distance.

It's hard for me come to terms with the fact that I'm not 21 any more. I know I'm getting older, but I don't feel like any more of an adult that I did in my teens. I live alone, no pets that I can even call my own. I own a mini-futon, not even a real couch. My bed consists of a mattress and box-spring on the floor. My kitchen table is a folding card table, generally covered in paperwork, bits of mail, and a pop can or two. I still have clothes on my bedroom floor waiting to find their new home, folded laundry on my living room floor, waiting to be put away, next to my home phone and cable. I do own a TV but my "TV Stand" is decidedly college dorm. (The last was the observations of M last weekend as we cuddled up before falling asleep, an honest time for anyone.)

Wow, I sound like I need stuff to make me feel like an adult - hm, this may be the case. It's stuff that make a place feel like home. Pictures hanging on the wall, a couch with a blanket draped over the arm, pots and pans in cupboards (or wherever pots and pans should go), a pantry. Which just brought the realization: I want a home. I want to come home to something more than a Netflix movie and my laptop.

I want feel like a real adult, not someone floating through life. Somehow I always pictured myself having it all figured out by this point - or at least be on some sort of path.

Growing up is the pits.